Tales From The Bar!

As The Royal Bartender, I get to see the Royal Family as many never get the pleasure.

Yes, I'm talking about SOBER[ish]! No, really I'm not....

The Queen has made a Royal Facebook page! It is a very private club, so if you want in, you must send a request or get an invite. I'll pass your email address along if you want in. Just don't be a pansy ass if I am putting my name up for you!

The Princess hasn't been heard from since CB took off. I have checked under all of the tables in the bar and still nothing. I think that she is either still hiding in her room, or that the crown polish got to her and she is still in rehab. Again.

The Dutchess has been a pissed off lady this week since no one decided to jump in the tub with her last week. [I would have, but I had classes from 8 - 5, and then had to be at the bar from 5:30pm - 6am! It's rough being awake for 24 hours a day for A WEEK STRAIGHT! Thank God those classes are done!]

The Dame has been feeling under the weather. [Again, I blame CB!] Further talk of her has led me to believe that she is BACK, and sitting in the tub with The Dutchess! And yes, they are doing dirty things to each other!

The Nameless Countess hasn't been heard from since she was appointed as a member of the Royal Family. WTF?!?! Did CB threaten her? Did she throw her to the Gators? Or is she just hiding until she gets her name? Your guess is as good as mine since no one has mentioned her at the bar!

In the Lost and Found this week,

I have 14 Xanax,

[No one can claim them,

so I'm adding them to the emergancy stash.]

I also have 2 single stripper heels,

[Which are now back in the wardrobe]

A pink and purple cell phone,

[Brand please?]

and a replica of the Beer Tab Crown.

If any of this belongs to you, let me know!

The drink of the week is: