Hey everyone! It's the Spicy Cat Lady here... aka Kim! The awesome Royal Bartender, aka Jen invited me to write a guest post for her blog. I'm proud to say that she has de-virginized me... this is my FIRST guest appearance ever!
Hmmm... as I'm writing this I'm wondering how do I become a part of the Royal Family?! I think they need a Spicy Cat Lady to add some extra spice in their lives! Hint... hint... to the Queen!
It took me a while to figure out what to write, and then my asshole ex-husband sent me a text... so this next part I dedicate to him!
1) I did not "cheat on you" and cause the breakup of our marriage. We had been separated for the better part of a year, and I had already filed divorce papers. Even before we were separated, we had sex MAYBE once or twice a month for 3 years (BAD sex at that).
2) Thank you for blaming all your social shortcomings on me. You have told multiple people that I never wanted to hang out with any of your friends, and that's why you had lost contact with them over the years. Bullshit. You are just cheap and no fun. If it involved travel, money, or staying out past 7:00pm, then you weren't interested. You also kept calling me fat, and then wondered why I didn't want to be anywhere near you.
4) Go ahead and crow to everyone how I "got to keep everything". Just so we're clear, if it wasn't for me you wouldn't even be in this country. You were here working cash and illegal, and thanks to me you are now a Canadian citizen.... that's worth more then some furniture and dishes.
5) You have conveniently neglected to tell all of these people that you are gay. You can keep telling yourself that you're straight, but anyone who likes to let men suck his dick AND reciprocates is, in fact, homosexual. Thanks for letting me find out that little tidbit after we got married instead of before, cocksucker. And don't EVEN try to say you're bi, because you made it evident to me over the years that you hate tits and vagina. I love me some gay men, but I didn't want to be married to one.
6) You mentioned that I hated talking with your family...completely true. They were weird as hell, and still are for all I know.
So I guess that ends my rant. If you want to tell your friends anything else about me, then tell them I'm very happy with my internet-geek boyfriend and new, normal, soon to be sane in-laws. Just so you know, this is the only place I have talked trash about you since our divorce. If telling people all that shit about me makes you feel better, then more power to you.
P.S.-change your passwords, dumbass.
Well folks hope you enjoyed my bitchin for the day... stop by my blog to hear me rant and rave every other day of the week! It's been a pleasure hangin out with you!